English homework?? For me??

I have been given an assignment for Academic English IV.  Ms. Wiseman wants us to write an encouraging letter to our son or daughter along the lines of Polonius’ advice to his son in Shakespeare’s Hamlet.  I’ll post it here, just to give you an idea, but I understand if you skip over it.  It has some fairly familiar parts though:

Give thou thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar;
The friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel,
but do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatched, unfledged comrade.
Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but by being in
Bear’t that th’ opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
 Take each man’s censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
 For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
…Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow as the night the day
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell:  my blessing season this in thee!

OK…there’s some Shakespeare for you…it’s alright…but Solomon did so much better with Proverbs don’t you think??

 

My heart is full of things that I feel like I should say to Kyle before he makes the transition from high school to college.  But I am going to cheat on this assignment just a little by asking for your input.  Matter of fact, I don’t even consider that cheating.  Because you folks are part of my family, so therefore you are part of my son’s family.  And family can take the opportunity to encourage, enlighten and advise, right? I’m not asking for a dissertation but just a couple of points that would have helped you at that time in your life. 

So….what do you say to an 18 year old boy…that is about to finish high school and start college?  What is your favorite piece of advice from Proverbs? That you heard from your family? That you learned from experience?   

 

Psalms 8

Some of my favorite verses in the Bible are about the majesty and power of God shown through His creation.  Job is my favorite book because I love when God starts listing off all the magnificent things He made.  “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow?” “Have you ever given orders to the morning?” “Do lightning bolts report to you?” “Does the eagle soar at your command?”  It reminds me that He is in control.  He made this earth and everything about it! He made me.  He is in charge of what happens around me, with me, to me and through me. It’s very comforting.  Also very humbling. 

This song of David does that same thing for me.  Who am I that the Maker of the universe even takes time to think about me?  

 1 O LORD, our Lord,
       how majestic is your name in all the earth!
       You have set your glory
       above the heavens.

 2 From the lips of children and infants
       you have ordained praise  
       because of your enemies,
       to silence the foe and the avenger.

 3 When I consider your heavens,
       the work of your fingers,
       the moon and the stars,
       which you have set in place,

 4 what is man that you are mindful of him,
       the son of man that you care for him?

 5 You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings  
       and crowned him with glory and honor.

 6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands;
       you put everything under his feet:

 7 all flocks and herds,
       and the beasts of the field,

 8 the birds of the air,
       and the fish of the sea,
       all that swim the paths of the seas.

 9 O LORD, our Lord,
       how majestic is your name in all the earth!

So who am I? He is God and I am just a human.  Who am I??  I am His creation.  I belong to God.  And He sent His Son to die so that I could live with Him eternally.  Wow! 

Turkey Day laugh…

If you haven’t seen Trey Morgan’s blog today you have to check it out real quick….fits right in with my warped sense of humor!!

http://www.treymorgan.net/2007/11/not-everyone-is-thankful.html

If you are travelling over the next few days, please be careful.  I am asking God to hold you in His hand and get you there and back safely.  Pray for my safe trip too (short though it may be).  Remember to thank the Giver of all good gifts as you list your blessings.  I thank Him for all of you!

The Tightrope Walk

For twenty years of my life (and possibly even more although I’m just beginning to come to grips with these things) I spent so much of my time REACTING to things. Just trying to stay balanced on a tightrope.  Every ounce of energy I had was spent trying not to fall off or drop any of the things I was responsible for carrying…my husband, my marriage, my children, my job, the house, the money, everyone’s happiness.  All of this was in such precarious balance.  And my ex-husband made sure that he kept me constantly spinning, fighting to maintain that balance.  I didn’t…I couldn’t…notice anything else going on around me because I was simply trying to survive…to not fall into the chasm looming under me. Part of the balancing act was pretending that everything was fine! I’m happy! We’re happy!  It’s all just FINE!! Then on top of trying to keep my footing on this tightrope, while holding on to all the things that were precious to me, while pretending all was well, I had to make sure that my ex-husband was not upset by anything…so that he wouldn’t shake the rope.  Peace at all cost.  I could not afford anything else emotionally. 

This tightrope walk…and other things…had me so beaten down that I did not feel like there was any sort of hope for anything better for me. I chose this life…I needed to figure out how to make it work.   I remembered in the back of my mind that God had loved me once upon a time.  I didn’t think He could love me anymore because I had turned my back on Him.  I had done horrible things that I knew He was disappointed…ANGRY…about.  You see, I had forgotten that there could be forgiveness and mercy and grace. I didn’t believe there could be any of that for me anyway.  It didn’t help that I hadn’t seen much evidence of forgiveness, mercy or grace in those who should have shown it.  Satan had a good hold on me, and because I was so off-balance all the time I didn’t even realize that it had happened.  I was so distracted by my balancing act, that I was down to my last thread and didn’t even know it.

But God was working.  A friend…a good man, a man that knows how to love like Jesus…came back into my life.  Really, just a chance meeting at a school thing…but I know God doesn’t do chance meetings, you understand.  This brother helped me turn around and get back home.  He invited me to the “something special” that turned out to be the best little church I have ever been with.  He taught me once again (and keeps teaching me)…about the love of the Father…about forgiveness…and grace.  He showed me the truths of Jesus and taught me that it is always right to agree with God.  Once I started getting that back in my brain and in my heart….I felt like I finally had firm ground under me.  I could stand.  I could catch my breath.  I could look around and see my life for the disaster it was. I could take action…not just reacting any longer…but acting on the problem…taking action with the truths of God as my stronghold. I love the way Doug Oakes said it the other day…”His truths are solid.  We can put down our whole weight on them”. Best of all, I could see that God had not gone anywhere. He was right there waiting for me to lift my eyes and see Him.  He was running to me!

Because I found my way back home…NO wait…I didn’t find it, I was led back to it by that good brother…I was able to heal from some wounds, even some of those that were self-inflicted. I have been able to grow just a little.  I am beginning to understand that God has a use for me, even though I really can’t see why…really can’t see how….really can’t get it through my head…I am beginning to let that thought find a place in my heart. 

So during this time when we have giving thanks on our mind, I want to say thank you to God for His foundations of truth…that I can stand on…that I can put down my whole weight on. (thank you for that phrase D)  Thank you for bringing my friend back at just the right time. (and thank you R) Thank you for the chance to heal…for the chance to grow a little…for the hope that is glimmering within me now.  I feel a peace in my life that could only be possible because of the goodness of God taking up residence in my heart.   

Romans 15:13 says “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”  I am experiencing a little taste of that hope and joy and peace….I pray those things for anyone who might be reading this as well.

Psalms 37

 I don’t have any particular insight of my own to share today.  But immeasurably better than anything I could think or write…there is the Word of God.  This passage caught my attention today.  Maybe it will put courage in someone’s day.  In Psalms 37 King David writes:

  1 Do not fret because of evil men
       or be envious of those who do wrong; 

   2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
       like green plants they will soon die away.

  3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
       dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. 

  4 Delight yourself in the LORD
       and he will give you the desires of your heart.

  5 Commit your way to the LORD;
       trust in him and he will do this:

  6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
       the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.   

  7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
       do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
       when they carry out their wicked schemes. (NIV)

A day of mixed emotions

Today is a day of such mixed emotions.  A year ago today my divorce was final.  After 17 years of marriage… and a few more spent together before that …it ended with a signature from a judge. 

There is an incredible sadness about that.  I hate the things that happened that caused the divorce.   I hate all the horrible things that were said in the course of the proceedings.  I hate the “emotional indigestion” that flares up still about some of the things that happened. I hate the scars that are left on my heart. I hate the fact that my children were so hurt and scared about what might happen…I hate that more than anything that I went through myself. 

But–there is a relief and gratefulness as well.  God freed me from a situation that was killing me.  I felt hopeless, helpless, trapped.  I felt as though I had no choice…that I deserved to suffer the things that I was suffering…that I should just die feeling miserable and alone.  I had turned away from God (I hate and am ashamed of that) and could not believe that He would want me back (me??)…that He would welcome me home…that He was running to meet me on that road.  He was doing all of that, whether I believed it could be true or not. 

God worked amazing things to get me out, to rescue me and my kids from a life that was not heading in the right direction (by any definition of the word) because of my past selfish, sinful choices.  God worked through mortgage companies, title companies, lawyers, judges, friends and family.  He was in the “parting-oceans-and-moving-mountains” big things and in the “gentle-whisper” small things. I look back with amazement at the mighty power of God.  I look back with thanksgiving at the mercy of a Father that would love me enough to do those things and more.  I look at my children and I see God’s blessings blooming in them more every day.  The removal of the major stressor in our life has freed all of us to start becoming the people we were meant to be…that God intended us to be.  We can breathe in all the good stuff around us now and just enjoy it for what it is…God’s gift of peace.

So I am raising these three precious souls that God entrusted to my care (if only for a little while)~~ alone…and sometimes I let the weight of that almost crush me.  But God reminded me this week that I am not doing it alone…I have a whole group of people around me that I can count on for love and support. Thank you God for the folks at my “open” church. 

God hit me in the head (“I could have had a V-8” style)…using His servant Rex…in the lesson last night.  (Isaiah 6)  God uses Rex to remind me of things pretty often.  Thank you God for Rex Boyles.   I was reminded that God doesn’t want me weeping over things…unchangeable things…from the past.  He wants my attention now…and He wants to use this broken, unclean, “Woe-is-me-ruined” person that I am.  So like Isaiah, I stand before Him (terrified as I find myself lacking and feeling unclean) and say “Here I am Lord”.  I confess–like Moses, Gideon etc.–that my heart is still looking around saying “Who? Me?” But, also like them, I listen and hear Him say “No, not you…but ME”.  I don’t know what the Lord has planned for the next day or month or year.  But I know His power is the one working…not any particular “power” of mine, because that is laughable.  I need to embrace~~I want to embrace~~what God has done…removing my sin, making me clean, atoning for the wrongs…and just let His power get to work through me in this world. 

So…for whatever time God gives me I am going to try my hardest to live free from grief about the past, looking for the opportunities God puts in my path, trying to let His power work through me,  using whatever ability He gives me…to show others the glory, power, love and grace of God.  I will continue to let Him lead me (step by step) and I will continue trying to seek His will in my life.  I am going to thank Him for every free, forgiven, clean, no-longer-ruined day with which He blesses me.  Including, maybe even especially, mixed-emotion days like today.

I thank my God everytime…

Doug Oakes wrote a post on his blog about folks casting long shadows on our life.  If you haven’t read it yet…you should take a minute to do so.   http://acornsfromoakes.wordpress.com/2007/11/08/a-long-shadow/ So I’m sorta stealing his idea, but I’m confessing to my theft here.

People come in and out of our life, or we pass through theirs whatever the case may be.  Some we barely notice. Some are important to us, but then move on (or we do) for different reasons. But there are folks that leave a piece of themselves embedded in our souls….they shape our thoughts, influence our hearts, change the way we look at our own lives.  They can be teachers, family or friends.  Sometimes they can be all that wrapped into one! I have a friend or two that teaches me everyday and they know me better than most of my family does…but I’m getting off the point.

My grandad was my favorite person ever. His birthdate was 12/12/12.  He loved me and I adored him!  I think he had a pretty good idea how important he was to me.  But I’m not sure he understood how profoundly the little things he did would touch my heart and shape my life.  When he would be “rebellious” and secretly share his lifesavers with me right before supper, I don’t think he did it knowing that it would make me smile some 30 plus years later. I don’t think he understood exactly how powerful and purely joyful it would be to two little kids to be given hammers in an old empty room and told “See that wall? I don’t want a single piece of sheetrock left on either side of it when I come back.  Now tear it down!”  A lot of things he did in his life, he did simply because it was who he was.  He helped when help was needed.  He worked when work was needed.  And he had fun every chance he got! I wish that I could tell him now how important it was for me to have seen ALL of those things in him.  I thank God everytime I remember him.

Thinking about those things, makes me look at my own life.  Am I living in a way that brings good to others? Or am I just passing through? Am I taking or giving? Robbing or enriching? Am I noticing the people that are good to me or my kids? Am I thanking God for them? Am I letting them know how much I appreciate them?  Because I sure wish I could let my grandad know. 

If you have someone that is leaving a fingerprint (or a shadow) on your life, let God know how thankful you are that He brought them onto your path. If you can, tell them how much you appreciate them.  And try to pass on some of that goodness as you walk through someone else’s path. 

Philippians 1:3   “I thank my God every time I remember you.”