TV preacher tidbit…

Last night I was flipping through channels.  I came across one of those TV preachers and heard a bit of what was being said.  They usually just annoy me, and to be honest, it is amazing that I stayed on the channel long enough to listen to anything being said. But this caught my attention and…made me laugh a bit as well. 

We all know that we have to have a TEST before we can have a testimony.  But some people just get moany…and never get a testimony.

Keep me safe, O God

Psalm 16

 1 Keep me safe, O God,
       for in you I take refuge.

 2 I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
       apart from you I have no good thing.”

 3 As for the saints who are in the land,
       they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight.

 4 The sorrows of those will increase
       who run after other gods.
       I will not pour out their libations of blood
       or take up their names on my lips.

 5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
       you have made my lot secure.

 6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
       surely I have a delightful inheritance.

 7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
       even at night my heart instructs me.

 8 I have set the LORD always before me.
       Because he is at my right hand,
       I will not be shaken.

 9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
       my body also will rest secure,

 10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,  
       nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

 11 You have made known to me the path of life;
       you will fill me with joy in your presence,
       with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

 

“Keep me safe, O God”…because I am scared.  I have felt scared for a lot of my life.  As a child I was afraid of everything….including people.  I had recurring nightmares of two people chasing me. In the dream I was trying as hard as I could to get away.  I couldn’t even walk much less run!! So I was crawling on the sidewalk to get away…and just could not do it!! That nightmare haunted me for years and years. I could still give you details about it actually. 

As a young woman, I was afraid of being alone, among other things.  I should have trusted the Lord to take care of me, but my faith was not that strong.  I married with that fear as a big motivator.  I married the guy that was interested whether he seemed like the right choice or not.  He was physically strong, so he could take care of me that way….or so I thought. If he would have cared at all for me, he could have taken care of me.  But he was not a person that functioned that way.  I spent so much physical and emotional energy trying to care enough for both of us that it nearly killed me. 

When I finally was able to see that the situation with my marriage was unacceptable, I was so scared about what the reaction would be.  I was terrified to say anything about my feelings, because I had never lived a life where that was done.  I had grown up keeping my feelings to myself.  I did not know how to express what I was feeling.  I was so scared that I would hurt his feelings.  I was scared that he would be mad.  Those fears seem so ridiculous now, but they were paralyzing at the time.  I really did not think that I could force the words out of my mouth.  I was praying that God would open the door to the conversation, and that He would give me the words to say.

God took care of that…way sooner than I anticipated.  One night, after my husband had come home from going out to “have a few beers with the guys”, he actually started the conversation.  He made accusations about me and did not accept my answer as truth.  In my mind I actually saw a door open, I mentally looked up to God and said ”well…here we go!”  So I began to spill out all of the poison that had been festering inside of me for 17 years.  It wasn’t pretty, but it was the truth.  He was shocked.  He cried.  I didn’t.  And for those of you that know me, I understand if you don’t believe that! But it is true.  It was as if my heart had turned to ice.  I could not believe that it was actually me talking. 

From there, I took one day at a time.  We tried counseling, but he was not a big believer in asking for help.  I continued with the counseling. I began to see that things were better with him out of the house.  My children were changing for the better. I was changing for the better.  I decided that I could no longer subject all of us to that relationship.  Was I scared? You betcha.  I was scared to tell him I wanted out.  I was scared of raising three children on my own.  I was scared of living on my own. I was scared to be responsible for everything on my own.  I was scared to face people and admit that I had made a mistake.

That was when I found my favorite verse.  Proverbs 3:5-6.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. ” I needed that direction.  I needed those straight paths. 

There are lots of verses in the Psalm above that I could go on about…and I will most likely hit on them in future posts. This has already grown to be quite long.  Verse 6 may be the topic of the next one.  Verse 1…God delivered me from my fear and now my faith has let me take refuge in Him.  Verse 2…apart from Him I have nothing worth having.  Verse 6…He has put me in a very pleasant and delightful place.  But…wait….that’s for next time!!!

 

The desolate wasteland

“Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain, and a path for the thunderstorm, to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass?” Job 38:25-27

The kids and I took a trip to Red River NM this week.  There are some places along that drive where there appears to be no living creature for miles and miles.  The first description that popped into my head at the time was “God forsaken”. But…it was pouring down rain.  It was really amazing to see the clouds move across the sky and build.  Then unleash a torrent.  That made me think about reading these verses where God reminded Job that He takes care of even those desolate places.  He doesn’t forsake any place.  He takes care of the needs of the Earth.  Why do I doubt that He will take care of me?

I am always in awe of the things God created when I am in the mountains.  I love the smell of the pine trees…the dizzying effect of looking up towards their towering branches.  I love the sheer cliffs (as long as I am at the bottom!) and I am amazed at the way God caused all those things to form.  It rained every day we were there. But not constantly.  The rain on the pines made such a sweet fragrance…such crisp, clean air.  It was chilly enough that we could see our breath at a couple of points! Nice change from the 100 degree days we had going here in Texas that is certain!

God has made this world for us.  He made it so we could enjoy the smells, the sights, the sounds.  (Hummingbirds make the most awesome sound!!) I was reminded that God did not need any of the things He made.  He didn’t need them to be beautiful, or sweet-smelling or pleasing in any way. But He knew that WE needed it to be pleasing. He made us…so who else would know what we need like He knows? He knows what pleases us. He cares….enough to make the trees smell sweet…enough to make tiny bright red flowers grow on the mountainside…enough to let the air be cooled by the rain.  Even in the desolate wasteland.