Make me an instrument

Today, in Daily Bread ( http://rexboyles.wordpress.com/ ) we were reading in Romans.  In 6:13 Paul says:

“Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to Him as instruments of righteousness.” 

I immediately thought of a song that we sang when I was in college chorus.  It was a very powerful and beautiful arrangement that has stayed with me all these years.   It is based on ”A Simple Prayer” attributed most often to Frances of Assisi, although I don’t really how much truth is in that. All I know is I loved singing that song! Here’s the Simple Prayer:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred…let me sow love.

Where there is injury…pardon.

Where there is doubt…faith.

Where there is despair…hope.

Where there is darkness…light.

Where there is sadness…joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek,

To be consoled…as to console,

To be understood…as to understand,

To be loved…as to love,

for

It is in giving…that we receive,

It is in pardoning…that we are pardoned,

It is in dying…that we are born to eternal life.

I think that maybe in trying to be an instrument of righteousness, I might want to consider these things.  By bringing love and pardon and faith and hope and light and joy to someone and seeking to comfort, understand and love others…wouldn’t that be letting Jesus use me as an instrument to show His righteousness? Afterall, an instrument usually doesn’t do much on it’s own.  It is only useful when placed in the hands of someone that knows how to use it.   I am not able to do much on my own, but when I place my life in the Hands of the Maker, He is able to do beautiful things.

Wisdom

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”  James 1:5

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding”  Proverbs 9:10

“Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme.” Proverbs 4:6,7

 

These “words of wisdom” from the Father are on the forefront of my mind.  Being a parent, being a single parent on top of that, I need all the wisdom I can get.  I am asking the Father for that wisdom, believing that He will provide it.  I will seek His wisdom and His will in my life.  I need His help.  He is faithful and never fails.  Please pray for me.

The path of life

  LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
       you have made my lot secure.

 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
       surely I have a delightful inheritance.

 You have made known to me the path of life;
       you will fill me with joy in your presence,
       with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16: 5, 6, 11

 

Because of a series of bad choices, I found myself married to a man that was not like me in any way.  I was disowned by my family.   I was pregnant.  I had no one to help me.  I was scared.  I was anxious.  I was lonely.  My husband was not the caring type, to put it nicely.  So my life was not anything like what I had dreamed it would be.  There were struggles financially and emotionally.  And of course, being pregnant, every day brought different physical issues my way. 

I had stopped going to church.  I mean…look how messed up I was! I had been rejected by the people I thought would be there for me, so honestly I had no use for any of the people I had known.  I let my husband’s family and friends become my circle of “people”.  And as I learn more, I see that situation was perfect for him.  Abusive people love to isolate you so that you are more under their control.  I think that way you forget what normal is, so you come to accept their misuse of you as normal.    

I looked on my life as what I deserved.  I had chosen poorly.  I had messed up.  I was with an ungodly person.  I had done ungodly things.  I couldn’t expect better than what I had.  I had defied my family and God to have this, so I had to suck it up and figure out a way to manage.  So I pretended that things were fine…probably more to convince myself than anyone else. My life centered on my children.  I found my joy and peace with them.  But I paid the price for that in the relationship with my husband.  He resented the time and effort I spent on the kids. He would get angry and would make fun of the things we were involved in.  My path in life was hard but that was just the way it was going to be. 

So I had a hard time hearing differently.  Once a friend pointed out that I did not have to struggle with all that misery on my own, that God had intended better for me…the scales began to fall from my eyes.  I will admit they fell off slowly.  It took a lot for me to come out of those 17 years of feeling unloved and unworthy.  I had to read and re-read the verses that told me God loved me and would forgive me.  That His burden was light.  That my body was His temple.  That He dwelled in me.  I thought on those things and fought with what they meant for my life for several months. 

I finally decided that I had to correct the wrong I had done.  I had to get this man out of our lives.  I didn’t want to be hurt any more by his words and his actions and most importantly I did not want my children to think that a life like that was acceptable.  I didn’t want them to grow up thinking that all husbands went out to the club instead of doing things with their family, or that all men disrespected their wives or that all dads made fun of their children.  

That began my journey back to the Lord.  I had so much pain and heartache that all I could do was cry for the first several months.  But the people God placed around me let me breathe all of that out.  I finally found my footing and began to stand again.  I think I found the life God intended. I found the place He had prepared for me.  The “boundary lines” that encompass my life have now fallen in pleasant places and my lot is now secure.  

In verse 11 of this Psalm, it says you have made known to me the path of life.  Not my path in life, but THE path OF life.  The path of life is following Jesus.  He has shown me that now.  I want to follow that path, wherever it goes, all the way until He leads me into heaven… so I can have joy in His presence and eternal pleasures at His right hand. 

God works in wonderful and powerful ways. He has done so much in my life…so much, that I am sure I only see a fraction of it.  I cannot wait to get to heaven and see…from beginning to end…the things God has worked and done to get me to Him.  I want to be able to thank each and every person that He has used.  But mostly, I want to be able to rest…peacefully and safely…forever in His presence.