I will confess that I found these on another blog one day and I did not write down the source, so I apologize for borrowing them without acknowledgement! There were a lot of them…but these were my favorites:
My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
In dog years, I’m dead.
If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
My husband keeps complaining I never listen to him…or something like that.
Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Gravity…it’s not just a good idea…it’s the law.
Those are so funny. My favorites are the first, fifth, and eighth.
I think I’ve read these several times a day since you posted. They just make me smile.
Thanks for the laugh.
YEP THOSE ARE GOOD ONES…
= )
I like #1 and #5 the best! Two things I could very well say myself.
Thanks for the giggle. Hope you have a great weekend!
GLAD TO SHARE SOME LAUGHTER~HOPE YOUR WEEKEND IS HAPPY.
That happy weekend thing isn’t working out so good for me…not at all. I don’t know how you did this and got to where you are today. It blows my mind. Its feeling impossible and yet its what I want when I let myself hope a little. I feel kind of lost today…sorry for being a downer.
ROUGH, “DOWNER” DAYS ARE PART OF IT SO DO NOT APOLOGIZE. LET GOD HOLD YOU AND CARRY YOU WHEN YOU CANNOT WALK ON YOUR OWN. I DO NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS BY ANY MEANS. I JUST KNOW THAT I HAD TO STRENGTH TO DO WHAT HAD TO BE DONE…I FIRMLY BELIEVED THAT I DID NOT HAVE THAT KIND OF STRENGTH. AND HONESTLY? IT WASN’T ME…IT WAS GOD. HE WORKED ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR GOOD WHEN I FINALLY REALIZED I NEEDED HIM TO TAKE OVER.
Okay Sherry, here are some that a friend of mine sent me…
–I have keptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
–Follow your dreams! Except for the one where you are naked in public.
–My short term memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short term memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
–I may be shizophrenic, but at least I have each other.
–Dyslexics have more nuf.
But I think yours were better than mine.
Thanks for the chuckles.
God bless you and yours.
I LIKE ‘EM!! MY BROTHER HAS A MILLION OF THESE. ONE I REMEMBER FROM FOREVER AGO: I USED TO BE A PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC, BUT NOW I JUST THINK THEY ARE OUT TO GET US.